Who Heated up Salmon in the Communal Microwave?

It has happened again.

Scott Muska

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Alright, everybody. Who was it this time?

I mean, seriously. This absolutely has to stop.

You know it walks the line of inconsiderate. At the bare minimum, it’s not exactly helping with our collective productivity. Some might even call it downright offensive.

I know Harriet does. Sorry for naming names, but she has audibly gagged thrice in the past minute. And when someone in my vicinity does that, I tend to follow suit. Last I saw, she was standing by a small garbage can, slightly retching.

I can’t say I blame her. It’s a jarring aroma. A real shock to, and assault on, the olfactory senses. It smells like a goddamn wharf in here, thanks in part to the open-office concept they’ve been trying to get us to embrace for years now.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not particularly in the mind space for yet another unpleasant distraction. I think we can all agree we get more than enough Slack messages in a given day, and that number need not be compounded by people complaining about and trying to sleuth out who the fuck heated up salmon in the communal microwave again.

I don’t even have time to eat lunch, let alone stand around in a cloud of complacency while I wait for…

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Scott Muska

I write books, ads and some other stuff. (You can find the books on Amazon.)