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Timesheet Line Items From My Stint Spent Working From Home That Have Not yet Been Approved by My Project Manager
“Gazing into the abyss.”
Apologizing after speaking for roughly 20 seconds while unintentionally being on mute during a Zoom call. For the 36th fucking time this fiscal quarter.
Incessantly circling back to many if not most of my abject failures.
Taking off my pants during a digital meeting, just to feel alive.
Worrying a whole lot about that time earlier in the week when a colleague said “no worries” to me when I made a minor mistake because god I am so alone and what the fuck else am I going to think about?
Making my daily commute from the Quarandream to the Night Terror.
Dutch Ovening myself to ensure I have so far retained my sense of smell.
Doing my absolute best to set the Guinness Record for longest amount of time spent gazing uninterrupted into the abyss. Ditto: shouting into the void.
Giving the abyss ample opportunity to gaze also into me.
Taking a quick break to dress up in a suit and tie to meet my alcohol deliveryman, who I believe has become more and more worried about me each weekly visit when he brings me a gallon of Irish…
