This Meeting Could Have Been…

Well, pretty much anything other than a meeting.

This meeting could have been an email. Or a Slack message.

This meeting could have been a swift kick in the dick.

This meeting could have been a spiritual journey where we all learned something very special about one another. An opportunity to experience some real warmth and growth.

This meeting could have been postponed, as nobody was prepared for it and the timeline is actually pretty flexible for once, which would have given me an opportunity to have left early to go finish (or pretend to finish) my work from home. I may have met the love of my life on that commute. It seems like I’d vibe pretty well with someone else who liked to clock out early when possible. What I’m saying is, all these meetings are getting in the way of potential love.

This meeting could have been some quiet time for all of us.

This meeting could have been replaced by some valuable time for all of us to prepare for the other impending meeting — the one that actually matters.

This meeting could have been less like the end of the world.

This meeting could have been a somewhat awkward conversation at the office urinals.

This meeting could have been the beginning of something grand. Life altering, even.

This meeting could have been held in a room that didn’t smell like onions.

This meeting could have been something more productive than an exercise in my learning how to better cope with being screamed at.

This meeting could have been the beginning of a lifelong friendship.

This meeting could have been a Post-It note stuck to my computer monitor.

This meeting could have been a phone call, but let’s be honest here: Everyone fucking hates phone calls.

This meeting could have been something other than cause for a midnight panic attack.