The Different Kinds of Kisses

All kisses are good kisses. And good kisses are great kisses.

Scott Muska
4 min readJan 4


The you make me feel like I could run through a fucking brick wall right now kiss.

The I’m changing my style to adapt to yours and how is that going so far please be honest kiss.

The we’re making eye contact during deep passionate sex so guess we should also smooch while we do so to really level up the entire experience kiss.

The I want to absolutely maul you but there are other people around some of whom are my old-fashioned relatives so let’s just do a little peck for now but there’s definitely more in store when we get back to the hotel room that’s for goddamn sure kiss.

The we’re so good at this that we should probably be featured on a TV commercial for one of those jewelry outlets like Jared’s or Kay Jewelers or even Costco where they actually sell some pretty high-class diamond jewelry even though you wouldn’t think for a second Costco would be that kind of place but maybe there’s merit to shopping for jewels at a place where you can also get a surprisingly serviceable slice of pizza kiss.

The I want so badly to believe that true romance is not and never will be dead at least not if I or we can have something to do with it goddamnit kiss.

The it’s pouring down rain like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock and we’ve all seen and emulate The Notebook don’t lie to me yourself or anyone else about it and several other seminal films that include epic scenes of people making out in the rain so we may as well follow suit and get after it too kiss.

The I’m all horned up and want to see if you might be on the same page at the moment so I’m gonna go ahead and shoot my shot kiss.

The shooting your shot which sometimes gets humiliatingly but understandably deflected lack of a kiss unless you count an awkward cheek-to-cheek brushing as a kiss kiss.

The we have to prove our love to others via social media so let’s record ourselves showing awkward affection that we then cross-post to various channels for the likes kiss.

The this other couple can’t possibly steal our new relationship thunder so let’s outdo their most recent and…



Scott Muska

Writer. "I Thought This Was Worth Sharing" (essays) and "Many of These Could Have Just Been Tweets" (poetry) are available on Amazon.