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One Day You’re Young and Wild and the Next…
…You’re getting really horned up over backsplash.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re just trying to wrap up work in time to watch Jeopardy.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re like, really, really into air fryers.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re trying to figure out how TikTok works.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re having “early go-to-bed parties.”
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re going to the chiropractor because you threw out your back while sneezing.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re suddenly getting really horned up over backsplash.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re celebrating a job raise by splurging on a sheet set with a high thread count.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re very excited when your blood pressure goes down a few points.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re feeling weird because you see a porn star who looks exactly like one of your girlfriends did in college and you realize you’re her senior by more than a decade.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re gaining a man breast cup size with every carbohydrate consumed.
One day you’re young and wild and the next you’re setting an alarm at night to remind you to take your meds for gout and put your Rogaine in.
